gather mind

I was wandering in the far back woods where the river bends.
i stumbled upon your body floating lifelessly again.
it was a full and well lit moon
Saturday or Sunday some years ago.
two ante meridian where we stood and i chose you.

you took hold of my hand, cold and callow.
you asked me to love you.
but you didn’t ask me to pretend.

i gave you the half best i could.
you took from me as i knew you would.
loved me and left me,
simple but thorough.

Youre all set to uninspire the masses with your small handful of faded passions and your deliberate classless actions. I’m giving up on these soft attempts at driving away ghosts and confusing shivery with malcontent. Govern yourself a bit better and you’ll find out who pities you enough to love you the most.

I keep going to that garden where i found you weak. 

Eating all your insides out. 

You were weeping from the skin crawling, lucid dreams we dreamt.

I carried you through that storm with the hardest intentions, killed time and saved face for the people you didnt want to know.

Don’t worry baby, I’ll never tell your dark. I’ll never let them see you the way i did that day.

You’ve got the internal revenue of a thousand pounds of loosely gathered feathers. 

Sure to fly away from their invisible sense of connection, long since lost of their binds tied to the body that kept them warm. 

You and yours should keep well to keep the lights down low, Hearts are always safer in the dark.

& I will keep well to stay my pace, far away from the unlasting fading faithless emotions you were easy to bare on my back. 

On my half decrepit acid filled spine. 

What made you think I was invincible, invisible, divisible by the thousand places i was required to run. 

You have to know i was dark too, I was light enough to see through

thinking, yes.

sleeping, no.

dreams all alive in their lucid glow.

i find my self alone, stammering up those short steps of life all over again.

moving in and out on consciousness im feigning to find a hold.

willfully im finding that i have completely fallen out of love with love.

but here i stand with the thought in my head that you can change this.

that you can move the way i keep my emotions in tow. 

ill fall, you’ll stand. 

arms crossed, glaring glance. 

wondering why i continue to fall in love with you, over, and over again. 

its the way you call me to hear my voice as you tiptoe that edge of awake and sleep.

its the time you held my hand, kissed me, turned and told me i was beautiful.

your actions speak louder than birds. 

you movements, swift, and unsure. 

i cant help but get lost in that sweet unrest. 

i cant help but wander through the wonder of what it would be like to build this nest.

I’ve got this cold hard rain beading down my back, the wind in my hair, my bags all packed. I know you can’t stand there and watch me leave. But I can’t stay and continue loosing peace. Ive got every inch of my heart contained in this box, it’s all tied up in a thousand nots. Sometimes I just lay there and watch you dream, and wonder what’s inside of you that keeps you asleep. I am restless and in need. Seeking feelings while I feign for emotion. I need every ounce of you, to need me.

im walking for days, that turn into weeks. 

i got drunk and found you searching for peace. 

chanting and screaming god grant me serenity. 

grant me the things unseen and in need.

you cant change these awkward waves. 

you cant keep this indentured pace. 

i am on my last day of my lively lease. 

I’m busy searching for a reason to stay inside your town. If granted peace in season, I’ll lay my head back down. I’ll plant my life in pieces and guide my heart aground.